How To Survive As A Gay Guy In Calaguas

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More like Bakla-Aguas.

Okay this isn’t initially solely intended for the bading populace of this beautiful country, but we’re doing this in full bravado anyways. If you’ve been around several tourism websites lately, Calaguas might have crossed your feed several times. The long road trip and the two-hour boat ride from the port of either Vinzons or Paracale in Camarines Norte would make you pose two questions: who else has all the money to go with me on this trip and who are capable of making this long trip like a night in a comedy bar? The divine Beckies, of course! But great comedic power comes with great responsibility plus the ability to survive a two-night ganap.

 

1. Looooong Road Trip, Longer Boat Ride

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Make sure to equip yourself with the latest chika. When in doubt, there’s Facebook to keep you busy. When having more doubts, read a book (but not on the boat—you wouldn’t want your Miguel Syjuco to be soaking wet). When having more doubts, there’s an infinite array of Instagram filters to keep you busy editing that selfie.

 

2. Hello, no Grindr.

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Only because there’s no good network coverage in the area (you would have to climb uphill to refresh that page), your chances at a good hook-up is absolutely slim to none. This means: either you have the so-called “baon” or you rely on the Universe. All the best, sister.

 

3. Yaaas no electricity.

While there are some stores providing phone charging stations, this really is an opportunity to enjoy the sin-nery: moon-lit skies, glistening shorelines, bonfires, beers and boys. Really, no need to elaborate.

 

4. OMG no airconditioned rooms

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There really is something about night sweats and waking up at the wee hours of the morning in the salty air. So yes, this is a plus for us. Surviving is easy: hammock underneath the talisay trees? Check. Going commando inside a malong cover-up? Check. Sleeping by the shoreline with an empty beer bottle on your right hand? Yes please.

 

5. Divine Inter-beck-siyons

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Here’s the thing: if you’re envisioning a rather quiet vacation at this island, you’re in for a surprise. Over the years, locals have invested in cottages peppered along the shoreline—something that could rival the most popular beach destinations thirty minutes from where you’re standing. This means that on weekends flocks of boats dock at every inch of the shoreline, keeping you at bay on a relatively small swimming area. This also means that the entire beach area could easily be crowded in a matter of minutes. Gay it up, sister. Don’t stay at the same spot. Take a dip, walk further, take a selfie, repeat. This way, you get to make the most out of the island.

 

6. Miley Cyrus hello, It’s The Climb

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A good twenty-minute hike is readily available to keep your legs busy other than last night’s soiree, so this means a beautiful selfie on top of the hill is on the way. Be ready because the minute you are uphill, you’re online. Congratulations!

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Calaguas could be this beautiful, amiga.

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